This is Me

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Monday, May 16, 2011


*beeeeeeeeeeeeeep* "This is a public service announcement."

I... had... a... DATE!

A REAL date where he came to my house and picked me up, opened my door EVERY time and PAID.

I want to shout it from the rooftops!

I know for some women this occurs all the time, and they don't accept anything less (which is great), but for me, this is new.

I'm 32 years old and there's only been one ex-boyfriend who has opened the door for me. That was on our first date. He never did it again.

So, having been on my own for so long (which started when I was young since I'm a military brat) and having been single for so long, I'm REALLY independent.

I'm the one killing roaches, fixing things, taking out the trash, washing my car, checking the oil and tire pressure.....

I have my own drill. My own tools.

I wear the words "I don't need you" on my forehead and no one has been willing to put in the work to remove it.

And I'm not saying this guy is the one who will. He may get tired of courting me after a short amount of time.

But this date really wasn't about him. It was about me.

I'm independent to a fault. When he suggested the movies my first thought was to meet him there, not let him pick me up.

When we got to the movie theater my first thought was to open my own door, not wait until he got around to my side.

I had to tell myself the entire night "Wait. Let him do it."

That was a lot of work! LOL

It's second nature for me to do everything myself. I'm programmed to do everything myself.

I've got a friend who, when we go out, walks in the door when I open it because she's used to having the door opened for her all the time.

(Uhhhhhh, chick - I am NOT your boo. I opened that for MYSELF! *I see you Stephanie!* LOLOL)

Allowing a man to put in work is difficult but I know that I need to allow myself to be courted because I am worth it (and I haven't always felt that I was worth it, unfortunately).

So far, I get a really good impression from this guy.

He's sweet (and would probably be sh!tting bricks if he knew I was blogging about him *gasp*), but one thing I'm not doing is fantasizing about him being "the one."

I'm just enjoying a man treating me like I'm special (besides my dad!).

I need to allow myself to be like my friend - to get used to the door being opened FOR me. To let it be second nature.

*big sigh*

Because I'm worth it. #message!