This is Me

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Monday, December 13, 2010

Even My Issues Have Issues

Last week, Facebook was all abuzz with the numbers game: you send a person a number and that person posts that number in his or her status with a statement about you.

For example, I send Jack the number 6, he posts in his status: "6 - I think you are a talented designer and I can't wait until you make it big" or something to that effect.

I took the time to find some very nice and insightful things to say about people and expected the same in return. Instead, I got some really generic and unimaginative responses.

I told one guy in particular that he's quite fine but underneath all that, I'm proud of what he's accomplished and can't wait to see what he does next.

What does he post for me?

"15 - if I was the man then that I am now, you would have had to wear safety pins on your underwear to keep me from getting to you."

Really? That's it? So there's nothing you like about me other than the fact that you want to get in my pants?

I thought the numbers game would give me some insight into what other people thought of me, but instead no one put much thought into their comments at all.

That REALLY bothered me.... and I just figured out why.

For those of you who are new to my blog, I grew up a military brat. I was the "new kid" every few years, which is already hard, but for a shy gal like me, it was extra difficult.

Constantly moving essentially means growing up without friends. For some reason, people don't feel the need to let any new people in their circle. They've got the friends they grew up with and are not interested in adding more. (I don't understand why females are like this, but it gets worse with age.)

I became invisible. Inside I screamed "I'm a GREAT person. Why don't you want to know me?!?!" but on the outside I just let them walk past me. I felt like I walked around with a cloak of invisibility on.

I think I was so upset with the numbers game because it was just another reminder that people really don't pay attention to me. They may say "hi" every now and then or comment on one of my pictures on Facebook, but they don't really KNOW me and aren't interested in getting to know me.

The few people I spend time with think I'm exaggerating because I'm quite outgoing when I'm around people I'm comfortable with, but that only happens when I'm comfortable.


I asked those guys why they didn't have anything else to say about me and they thought I was overreacting. They didn't get it.

But that's okay. I get it. I can recognize my drama and govern myself accordingly (like no more numbers games for me-lol).

Everyone's got issues, but at least I know how to deal with mine and move on.

On to the next one because I know I've got more.....