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Thursday, August 12, 2010

I Can Hear Them Whispering In My Ear

I know you've all been waiting with bated breath to see how my social calendar has filled since joining eHarmony.

It's been two months, I've already been billed for my third and final month, and I've been matched with over 60 people. So how many dates have I been on?

Wait for it....

0.

Yep! The big ol' goose egg! Nada! Zilch!

Every time I see an eHarmony commercial highlighting those who found love I yell "Yeah, right! Y'all are LIARS!" at the TV.

In all fairness, it's not their fault. Well, it is, but it isn't.

Remember the questionnaire that took me 3 hours to fill out? Once you've been matched, there is a similar loooooong process to go through to actually get in touch with those people.

If you like what you see, you:

#1. Send them a series of (5) questions for them to answer.

#2. They answer yours, then send theirs.

#3. You answer theirs, then send your list of "Must Haves, Can't Stands." (Like "I must have someone... who is an active member of church" or "I can't stand someone.... who treats people with disrespect.")

#4. If they still want to communicate after reading your list, they send theirs.

#5. If you like theirs, then you send a more in-depth series of questions (3) that he/she has to answer with his or her own words, as opposed to selecting from a list of answers like you do for step 1.

#6. I believe this step occurs when you are able to communicate via email, but I'm not too sure because I haven't gotten to this step yet!!!!!

*#$!^%!* Enough already!

I've been in communication with a cutie from Tennessee for the past month and a half! What happens if we don't get to talk face to face (or at least on the phone) before my membership ends?!?!?!

*gasp* I'll be alone forever, that's what!

The other day I thought about joining for another few months since he is so cute and since his beliefs fall right in line with mine, but then I realized that's what they want me to do!

The process is designed to keep you coming back for more! If the communication is only half-way finished or you haven't found anyone and you're tempted to opt-out, they start whispering in your ear... "You can't quit now. What if you miss out on your.... *pause for effect* soulmate?"

It's just a trap to get you to spend more money!

*slamming my hand on the counter and raising my voice*

And I don't spend money unless there's a DEAL on the table!!! (which means that if they do send me another email deal, they got me for another 3 months....)

1 Comments:

  • At 7:32 PM, Anonymous mercy said…

    i am Mrs mercy i am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 2 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come again and he called me that he want a divorce, I asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying that he want a divorce and that he hates me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just
    want to try if something will come out of it. I contacted DR. omoba for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman that she cast a spell on him that is why he hates me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they cast the spell and after 3 days my husband called me
    and he told me that i should forgive him, he settled to apologize on phone and said that he still love me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that the Dr omoba shrine casted on him that made him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you DR. omoba for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want
    you my friends who are passing through this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact dromobaspellhome@gmail.com and you will see that your problem will be solved.

     

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