This is Me

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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

"DEAL" Is A Four-Letter Word

I'm a sucker for a sale.

I come from a family of suckers.

If the word "sale" is on a product, we'll buy it even if we don't need it. I'm a firm believer that my father would buy cocaine if the "street pharmacist" was offering a "deal". ("...but it was on sale!")

As previously mentioned, I refuse to pay $30-$45 a month for professional matchmaking services, regardless of how lackluster my social calendar is ($30/month if you sign up for a year; $45/month if you sign up for 3 months). eHarmony sent me email after email proclaiming that I might meet my soul mate if I JUST... SIGN.... UP.

Nope.

So after a month of waiting, eHarmony sent me an "email deal." $19.95/month for 3 months.

They got me.

Okay. I can do $20/month. It will be worth it to be able to see their pictures, right?

After typing in my credit card number and logging on, I headed to the Matches section on my page.

My thoughts:

"Hmmmm.... this guy isn't really cute.

Neither is he.

OMG who told him to put that picture up?

This guy needs to get someone to evaluate his pictures before he posts them.

I can tell by the look on his face that he thinks he's cute, but, er, uh... brotha is wrong.

Wait! I paid $20 to see these busters?"

Looks aren't everything but I've got to be attracted to you somewhat, right?!

Once I got passed the shock, I came across one guy who was pretty cute, so I read his profile.

In the "What Do Most People Think of You When They First See You?" section, he wrote "Most people think the fack that I'm short means I'm a pushover."

Wait. What? Did this fool just misspell "fact"?!?!?!?!

Oh, hayle naw!

And he even listed English major as his occupation!

I proofread EVERYTHING - including text messages. Being a writer means I'm a stickler for correct grammar and spelling in its written form (slang is okay; misspelling is NOT). I told my friend and though she thought it was funny, she called me Chilli for being so nitpicky.

WHATEVER! I'm going to need you to know that "fact" is spelled with a 'T.' He probably spells 'street' with a 'C' and thinks 'Wal-Mart' really ends with a 'K'.

Nitpicky my a$$..... Chilli got what she wanted....

1 Comments:

  • At 12:48 PM, Anonymous Chanceit said…

    I completely understand! The online dating world is very unpredictable. I have met at least one worthwhile person from my experience and he had the nerve to go off on me because I was not putting forth enough effort to showcase my interest in him. Does he not realize I met him on the World Wide Web? He must have forgotten that we have only met once and he has yet to ask me out on an official date!

    Everything is a "Catch 22". You got to put yourself out there to be found, but have to go through a couple (for me, a lot) of scrubs before you find someone worthwhile.

    BTW: I am still dealing with the scrubs...:)

     

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