This is Me

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I Need Out

The day I made my hair appointment I thought about the movie Soul Food. When the woman walked into Bird's hair salon and said she needed a complete makeover, I knew before she even said it that she had just had the life sucked out of her from a breakup and needed a new, fresh start.

I have been looking for a fresh start as well.

I haven't had my heart broken (well, maybe not devastatingly but my feelings have recently been hurt) and I wasn't going to get anything drastic done to my hair.

I just needed a change, something to keep me occupied and take focus away from my current situation.

I know I'm blessed. I have a job and a roof over my head. I may not have any money left over after bills, but at least my bills are paid. I understand all that.

But there is a difference between being content with what you have and being complacent. I want more for my life than just what I currently have.

I need a change ASAP.

I'm not complaining. Just making a statement.

I'm ready for a change. (Obama '08!)

Who wouldn't?

There aren't many people out there who see themselves in the same job in the same city making the SAME pay for the rest of their lives.

I'm ready to move onward and upward to a new city - a new LIFE for that matter - and it's not happening quickly enough.

I know, I know. Just have patience.

But I am SUFFOCATING in this place.

I am in a box and I need OUT.

I was hoping my highlights would at least relieve some of the pressure, but when I walked out of the salon I didn't feel any lighter, any different.

I was expecting to be able to breathe a little easier, but about once a week my chest still tightens up.

As each week passes without a job lead, as I sign yet ANOTHER lease to keep me locked under "apartment contract", I can't help but to ask "Lord, WHEN?!?!?!?!?!"

Clearly I just need to do something more drastic. Maybe I'll go blond.....