This is Me

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Friday, March 21, 2008

They Call Me Pollyanna

I am a fairly optimistic person. I'm usually happy 24/7 unless of course it's that time of the month.

I wouldn't call myself a "Pollyanna," but I generally have a smile on my face and I love to laugh. I'm both a morning and a night person. Basically, I'm an "all day" person.

People around me like my optimism.... until it comes to relationships.

In relationships, people look at my optimism as naivete because I don't have sex.

About a year ago I was dating a guy but we never ended up taking our "dating status" to "relationship status."

So many things kept getting in the way, and in the end we didn't get together because, I believe, God didn't want us together. Yes, there was some drama involved with the situation that I won't go in to, but regardless, he wasn't and isn't a bad guy. It just didn't work out for us.

When I was discussing the situation with a friend, she started talking about him so badly you would have thought she was the one who had gotten hurt.

"I bet he's lying to you. He probably did this and he probably did that."

I got tired of it and told her to stop. So she turned on me.

"You look at the world through rose-colored glasses! He is playing you and you don't even see it."


And then she took it too far by bringing up sex...

Now I'm pissed.

Contrary to public opinion, sex does NOT make you mature. If it did, then my friends who do have sex wouldn't keep making the SAME mistakes they've been making since college.

(To let the world tell it, if I did drop my panties, I will emerge victoriously from the bedroom with the solution to the rising crime rate, since having sex will open my eyes to how the world "really works," right?)

I cannot stand for people to look at me like I'm naive because I choose to believe that not every guy will cheat.

And it's not just females thinking this way either.

I was telling a male friend about some trouble a female friend was having with a guy she liked and the first thing out of his mouth was "He's probably taking advantage of her."


You don't even know the dude and you're dogging him!

What is the deal?

I know that 90% of men out there don't know how to keep their penises in their pants. I've seen it and experienced it. I've had 7 boyfriends in my life and 6 of them cheated. (I don't know if #7 did or not, but I'm over him so I don't care one way or the other). My heart was involved with every single one of them, so yes my heart has been BROKEN multiple times.

But I still believe there are good men out there. Even after all the dirt I've seen men do to women in college, I STILL BELIEVE there are good men (although, realistically speaking, they are few and far between). Just because I'm not joining in your pity party does not mean I'm naive.

I was having a relationship conversation with a guy and after one of my "optimistic" comments, he gave a sarcastic laugh and then proceeded to talk down to me like I was a child.

See? This is why I don't talk to people about certain things. The type of negativity that spews out of the mouths of certain people who profess to be Christians just brings me down. Don't try to steal my joy because you're not happy.

I used to look at all men negatively, but God has been working on me, and I've come out on the other side a happier, more positive person. I've dealt with the pain and I've moved on.

I refuse to believe that God is sitting up in heaven, looking at women saying, "Sorry, ladies. All men cheat. You just got to get used to it."

That's not how God wants it to be.

I choose to be optimistic because I have God in my life. Being realistic and optimistic at the same time is possible when you believe in the Lord.

I have faith that He is going to send me the man I've been praying for. And I thank Him in advance every day.


  • At 2:07 PM, Blogger The Movement said…

    I agree with you girl. Not all men cheat and just because you believe this doesn't make you naive. It's not like you believe they never cheat. You just choose not to lump all men into one category and THAT'S the mature thing to do. You're looking for the good ones and not settling. I believe that you'll find your good guy soon enough and YOUR good guy won't be turned off by your choice to keep your pants on. Later for the haters.

  • At 4:17 PM, Anonymous tjeanise said…

    AMEN sister. I am right there with you.


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