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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Trifling Tendencies

As I am on my way to work this morning I catch the middle of a discussion on the rights of fathers when the parents of a child aren't married. One caller mentioned how *trifling* his baby's mother was and how she used the child to get money from him to take care of herself rather than her child.

Mothers using their children to get money is not a new thing and it happens all the time. While incredibly UNFORTUNATE for the child, I have to ask those men one thing...... If she's trifling now, most likely she was trifling before, so WHY did you not see it then?

Of course this all goes back to having sex too early (as a lot of problems in relationships do). People don't take the time to get to know those they are dating before jumping in the sack. If people would just STOP having sex so quickly and look at the situation clearly AFTER some time dating, those *trifling tendencies* would come out and you could cut your losses and run before you bring a child into the situation.

I have run into a number of both women and men who have forgotten that sex = babies. Since it doesn't happen all the time people slack when protecting themselves or making better judgments and then get *caught* with a child with a person who is *trifling*. CLEARLY folks aren't thinking back to those sex ed courses in health class back in middle school.... STDs (some that go away and some that DON'T) as well as children are the consequences of having sex.

Now, not all women are trifling. Sometimes good women make bad judgment calls and have sex with a man who ends up not supporting the child.... but I have to ask the women the same thing. Did you not see those trifling tendencies BEFORE you had sex?

(True, there has to be room for those who get pregnant at a young age who may not have known what they were getting themselves into. All sorts of stupid mistakes are made when you're young and trifling tendencies are so rampant in most high schoolers that people probably think the way his or her significant other is acting is the NORM, but having sex in high school is too soon and a whole 'nother entry, so for now I'll stick with college-age and older adults.)

I understand that you don't see all you should when in love (I'm also assuming the people having children were in love at the time they were having sex.... one night stands is YET another entry...), but that's where TIME comes in...

Time to get to know each other.
Time to see if both want the same thing out of the relationship.
Time to see if both are looking to grow (where do they see themselves in 5 years? 10? What are their goals? Aspirations?)
Time to see how they act and react when times get tough.
Time to see if he or she is the right one to bring a child into this world with....

because the child shouldn't have to be subjected to a life full of *trifling tendencies* because mommy and daddy got all hot and bothered one night and "couldn't help themselves"....


  • At 11:09 AM, Blogger Greg said…

    i'm feeling you on this issue- for real. being a guy, it almost disgusts me the kind of things that men (some of my friends included) do without even thinking about it. i hate to put his business out in the street, but there is a 99% chance that he'll never read this so it really won't matter; but my best friend wll sleep with about anyone and he says that i give him a hard time because i tell him to raise his standards and put some thought into who you share your body with. the guys i know have slept with, on average, seven times as many people as i've been with. seven times! think about it- if i've been with one person, then that's seven for them; if i've been with two, that's an avearage of 14 people- need i say more? it's crazy. i keep trying to pull my black people up out of the gutter, but it's hard to teach someone who doesn't want to be taught. i digress. and i've said too much already and i don't even know you. by the way, thanks for the comment on my blog.

    peace and love



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