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Monday, August 21, 2006

Okay, Boys and Girls. Today We're Going to Talk About Respect.....

During a conversation about women putting up with mistreatment from men, someone said "Guys will only do to you what you allow them to. Demand your respect!"

Um, excuse me?

Why should I have to DEMAND respect from someone? And secondly, If I have to DEMAND respect from you, why would I stay with you?

I don't believe in demanding respect from a man. It should already be given to me.

At your job, do you automatically give respect to your boss or does he have to demand it? Do you automatically respect your co-workers or do they have to stand up for themselves in order for you to not run over them?

If your suggestions and complains are constantly falling on deaf ears at work, your boss is giving you his work to do on top of yours, and there is no raise or title change in sight, how long would you *play along* with the disrespect? Do you stay or look for another job? Most likely you'd leave. So why would a relationship be any different?

In the beginning, people in relationships/friendships are always on their best behavior. It's not until people get *comfortable* do people start to act up....

Scenario 1: You let a friend borrow your favorite CD only for them to lose or break it and then they have the nerve to get mad when you expect them to replace it. You let that same friend, who has fallen on hard times financially, stay the night. That night turns into weeks and he or she doesn't even offer to help cook or clean and isn't looking for a new job to help pay some bills. It's time to cut her loose. (I once had a *friend* who said "We've been around each for a long time now. I don't have to say 'please and thank you' anymore." Right.......)

Scenario 2: You and Guy meet and hit it off. Everything is great in the beginning. Then a few months down the line, he starts asking you to do things and doesn't say thank you. Starts hanging out with the boys more often and stops calling you as often because "you'll always be there." Makes plans but then cancels at the last minute without an apology. Maybe even stands you up. What do you do? Demand your respect? No. you leave. You shouldn't have to demand to be treated with respect.

If someone is mistreating you, the obvious answer is NOT "Demand your respect and he will treat you correctly." The OBVIOUS answer is "Get the heck outta dodge." Someone you have to stand up to just to be treated respectfully is not worthy of your space.

IMO, the amount of respect you show a person should never wane. It should remain a constant and even grow as you get to know a person better. Even if I don't like you, I'm still going to treat you with respect. If I don't, what does that say about MY character?

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