This is Me

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Monday, May 22, 2006

PMS is REAL!!!

So I'm reading an article about more pills being put on the market to either eliminate the menstrual cycle altogether or at least keep it from happening 12 times a year and I'm thinking to myself - "Could that be healthy?" Now, I for one hate having to deal with the female CURSE once a month, but didn't God give us this thing for a reason?"

After I get passed the health issues, my mind then wanders to the symptoms we'd eliminate as well.... If we get rid of our periods, we also get rid of the bloating, cramping, and mood swings, as well as those arguments we seem to have with our significant others/parents/friends around that time. Ummmmmmm, health issues or no health issues, that sounds like a plan!

This, in turn, made me remember an episode of Charmed.... during the episode, b/c of some magical faux pas, Piper and her husband switched bodies..... ironically it was during Piper's time of the month, and when he started experiencing depression he said "I thought mood swings were something women made up to get sympathy, but they really do occur."


Fellas, PMS is real! Some women have worse symptoms than others, but trust me - it's not something we make up. As I am writing this, my lower back is throbbing, my left breast is so sore I feel like Mike Tyson hit me in the chest, and every few minutes I feel a sharp pain in my abdomen. Some women have cramps so badly they can't even walk! But all of this is just physical.... the hormonal is worse.

Some years ago when I was still in high school I was taking a trip with others on the newspaper staff. It was about 15 of us in a van that the advisor was driving. The radio was on and I'm someone who sings every song on the radio, even if I don't like it, b/c it doesn't take me long to memorize a song (b/c the radio stations play the same freakin' songs over and over again) or even start to sing the lyrics when only hearing it for the first time (b/c song lyrics are pretty predictable these days). So I was singing pretty much every song that came on the radio and one of the people in the van said "Dang! Do you know EVERY song that comes on the radio?????!!!!" I was PISSED. At that moment I decided I was NEVER going to speak to him again EVER b/c he called me out in front of everyone. And I was serious, too. Of course, once the PMS went away I was fine, but at the time I was ready to beat him down!

And the crying fits!!! Man! I was once crying on the phone with one of my friends (and I mean crying with huge tears, red face, and snot) because some dude didn't call me back. The next week my friend said "How have you been doing? Are you okay? I've been so worried about you. I've been praying for you." You've been praying for me??? Dude. That was PMS. I had known that guy, for like, 5 minutes.... (What was his name again?)

My mom recently had a PMS episode as well..... my sister unloaded the dishwasher but put one of the bowls in the wrong cabinet. When my mom opened up the cabinet and saw the bowl, she wanted to grab it and throw it out of the window! Being the sensible woman she is, she counted to 10 to try to calm down, but the fact of the matter is that she WANTED to throw it, just b/c it was in the wrong cabinet.

PMS actually has you thinking that your irrational thoughts and feelings have merit. I have deleted many a guy's number when they pissed me off during the time of the month. I have gone off on a number of people when they are inconsiderate, only to calm down and in a few days see that I overreacted. It's like someone else takes over, but you're awake to see everything that goes on.

Am I apologizing for it??? In the words of Whitney Houston, "Oh, HAYLE NAW!!!!" *said in my best Master P voice* "Uhhh, It ain't my fault!" LOL Hormones are no joke! For future reference, fellas - pay attention and find out when your girl's menstrual cycle is on and just walk on egg shells for that time period. It'll make both of your lives so much easier!

P.S. I'm also convinced men have a PMS phase also b/c they can get those off-the-chain mood swings as well. One minute you're about to claim the "Chatty Kathy" title, the next you don't have anything to say! One minute you're all lovey dovey, the next you don't call for 5 days! First you say you love me, then after feelings have been invested you say you're not ready for a relationship?! WTH??? Oh, you must not value your life....*looking for my knife* LOLOL


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