This is Me

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Friday, May 12, 2006

Everything Else is Irrelevant

I had planned on venting about something or other today, but after reading a friend's blog about the death of someone close to him, it really seems irrelevant.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't think there's anything wrong with complaining. Every now and then you need to vent about what's going on around you, just as long as you recognize how blessed you are. I complain about bad drivers, not having enough money, not having any friends in my area, etc., etc., etc., but every day I wake up and go to sleep thanking God for what I do have. I always remember that no matter what I'm going through, there is always someone else who has gone or is currently going through something worse... 10 times worse.

Every now and then death has a way of slapping you in the face, reminding you about how temporary things are. And don't let the death be someone who is young. You hear about young kids getting killed all the time on the news, and even though you're sad, it's not something you harp on, think about the next day...

Death slapped me in the face Aug. 12, 2004. My friend, who was there when I had no one else, died in a car accident. He was only 23. The youngest person listed in the obituary that day. I know people die, but people dying before a certain age just seems even worse. He'll never get to get married, have kids, walk across the stage to receive a college degree. Really, the only thing that made it better was the fact that I KNOW he's in a better place. He may have struggled with living a Christian life while on earth, but that's a struggle for everyone every day. God knew his heart and he was a good person.

(Wesley's death fell on the same day as a funeral for a guy I went to college with. He was a really nice guy; he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was shot. I was hurt b/c he was such a nice guy, but I didn't harp on it. Then when they're laying him to rest, I get a call... THAT call....)

What's funny is that Wesley and I went to high school together but he was two years younger so I didn't really know him, I just knew OF him. He was FINE with a capital F-I-N-E. Plus, he was an athlete.... Everyone knew OF him. LOL

Then I graduated,, went to college, and then grad school. The grad school I was attending was where he was receiving his undergrad. It's like God wanted him in my life. He didn't know who I was but when I saw him right before we went into the cafeteria, I walked up to him, introduced myself and said "Hey. We went to high school together." That was that. Never expected to talk to him again. I went in, got my food, sat at a table by myself (b/c I didn't know anyone) and 5 minutes later he comes up to my table and asks "Can I sit with you?" We had our ups and downs (I'm an introvert at times and he didn't really understand that since he was so outgoing) but he always made me feel like family, even after just meeting him that day when he sat at my table in the cafeteria...

His death was the first death I've experienced of someone close to me (I wasn't close to my grandfathers - they died when I was young. 99% of my family is still alive, Praise God.), so it definitely hit me hard. I received my masters in May of '04 and moved back home while I looked for a job. I didn't expect for it to take as long as it did (1 year) but when Wesley died I had been home for almost 3 months, discouraged that I still hadn't received a job. The day before he died I was discouraged; the day after I didn't care. Nothing else mattered. The first thing on my mind when I woke up in the morning was "Your friend just died." Of course it got better, as it always does.... but, then someone else else goes through the same thing and you're reminded that everything else is irrelevant....

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